“MY NAME IS LAUREN AND YA KNOW WHAT I GOT? What d’ya got? I GOT A TEAM THAT’S HOTTER THAN HOT! How hot is hot? GRAND SLAMS AND HOMERUNS, TOO! Uh huh! Uh huh! NOW LETS SEE WHAT MCKENNA CAN DO! MY NAME’S MCKENNA AND YA KNOW WHAT I GOT?…”
The day couldn’t have started off worse. An early morning softball game in the rain and it was freezing. I sat at the field bundled in my coat and a blanket under the umbrella mumbling “it’s a good thing I love Lauren!” And we had invited the whole team over for an after-game party. All those girls inside my house because it would be too rainy to play outside. My plan had been for them to be in the creek, on the hammock, on the tire swing, in the woods, playing catch, running around, showing up inside just to eat. But it rained.
We had 10 Lady Storm players (three girls weren’t able to come), Emily had her friend Keeghan over, and my Grace. Paul and I would need lots of grace to get through this party. I’ve never seen such cheese doodle destruction in my life. And these girls, these girls, made quick work of popcorn and Oreos and watermelon and pretzels and chips and Doritos and sodas and Rice Krispy treats and s’mores and burgers and dogs.
My artist-in-residence Grace did face painting and there was Twister. It stopped raining, and despite the cold, these girls, these girls headed out for water balloon time. Ya know, ants know when you’re having a picnic, and boys know when girls are having a party. Boys are like ants; they show up for the sweets. The softballers were throwing water balloons in the cul-de-sac and Neighbor Boys Luca, Alex, and Aiden came swooping down through our back yard and driveway into the circle on their bikes. “BOYS! GET ‘EM!” And they chased those boys down the street under a hailstorm of water balloons. As the boys disappeared, the girls hollered dares and wanted to chase them. I told them there was no need to chase the boys because they would come back on their own. “Mrs. Sandie, how do you know they’ll come back?” Because they’re boys.
And they came back. With Super Soakers and a baseball bat. Really? A bat. This is a softball party. We have bats. I’ve got enough bats that I can decorate with bats. I put three bats in a big vase and made a centerpiece for my party table. Maybe you thought you were gonna slam one of the water balloons with your bat. Not if Ace is pitching. And those Super Soakers can’t spray from Third base to First but Trixx and Mickey D can throw a balloon that far. So you better back up with that Soaker. And you don’t want to let these girls, these girls, get into your head with their softball chants. Nailer is one of the loudest, but Clover and FiFi can scream, too. If you try to run, we’ll send Wild Thang and Frozen after you. And eventually you’ll give up and head for home. But I have to warn you…our catchers Wicked, and Little Hootie love it when a runner tries to steal home. And at the next party, we’ll show you exactly what Slim, Roadrunner, and M&M can do.
Now, I’m not saying the boys didn’t have a chance against these girls. But oh these girls, these girls, know how to play the game.