August 1, 2023

Lauren Mauk graduated from high school on May 22. I haven’t had a chance to process her accomplishments yet because other circumstances were occupying my time and energy right after that. That couldn’t be helped, but it wasn’t fair to Lauren.

Lauren. Lauren is our middlest child, and all that implies. I know sometimes she feels overshadowed and undervalued because of her position between Grace and Emily. I won’t argue feelings with the girl who wears her heart on her sleeve. I never have any doubt about what Lauren is feeling because her pain and pleasure, agony and ecstasy, fear and bravado are always on display. She has no poker face; when she feels it, she shows it. Who am I to tell her she is wrong about what she feels?

And she has never felt anything just a little bit. No one suffers more than her. She didn’t just have a little boo-boo with her toe. She had turf toe (not really a big deal, but 7 years ago, she wore it with a badge of honor). And there the time that a 6 inch nail impaled her shoe and foot. That actually was a huge deal. And three year old Lauren didn’t just have a headache. No no. She fell 10 feet into the creek and smashed her skull and had cranial surgery and spent 8 days at Brenner’s Children’s Hospital. And while some kids might break a bone playing in the snow and ice, Lauren’s fracture led to five wrist surgeries in three and a half years. Like I said, no one out suffers Lauren.

But the surgeries and maladies have turned her into quite the bad ass unafraid of pain. She confronts hardships head on these days, and has been scheduling her own appointments with her physical therapist or surgeon on her own for quite a long time. All of her surgeries were at her own discretion. Paul and I have certainly agreed that she needed them, but after the first one, only she understood how painful recovery would be with the casts and slings and therapy. She faced each surgery and recovery bravely, and with her makeup on fleek!

Lauren was always a conscientious student who never needed any prodding to get her homework or projects done. Her anxiety, damn that anxiety, kept Lauren on or ahead of schedule with her work most of the time. That’s great for her grades, but anxiety is a cruel task master whose lessons are hard to unlearn. And while anxiety used to be an unwelcome hanger-on, I’m proud to say that Lauren has ended that co-dependent relationship with that nasty sycophant. The foreboding and worriment that once paralyzed her no longer shadow her days.

I hesitate to highlight Lauren’s dependability and reliable nature for fear that her sisters will assume that I don’t see those same qualities in them. I do see them. But Lauren is a different kind of good. She doesn’t suffer a liar for even a split second, so don’t waste your breath trying to persuade her that your lie is somehow justified. And when Lauren tells me she will be here or there, that’s where she is. She’s home on time. She follows through. She keeps her word. She’s upfront and honest about her intentions. She doesn’t sneak.

She was the Hot Jam Queen driving down the road with me in Tha Bandwagon, and I miss her now that she has her own car. But she is somehow Hey Soul Sister without contradicting It Is Well With My Soul. She’s a little bit country and a little bit rock and roll. And she makes me proud when she plays Fleetwood Mac.

It’s no wonder Gavin has fallen for Lauren. She’s just as wonderful as he is, and they are well matched. Sometimes we share stories with Gavin about Lauren’s younger days, and there are pics. Oh the pics! Lauren, like many of us, doesn’t relish memory lane’s visual reminders of days past. She has changed since being my preemie, and she’s not all baggy shorts and oversized T-shirts anymore. She’s a knock out, stunner, head turner, confident and humble beauty. She always has been and always will be My Lovely.

And she’s 19 today. My Lovely is 19. We did her family birthday dinner Sunday night, and she has some exciting plans for today. Join me by wishing her a blessed and happy birthday.