January 17, 2011
I had a friend in Seattle who suffered from frequent sinus infections and she was miserable to be around when she had one. Since I had never had a sinus infection before, I thought she was just being dramatic by complaining so much. But when I got my first sinus infection, I completely understood. I seriously considered naming my next child after my antibiotic. Fortunately for my daughter Lauren, I love my sister Laura more than I ever loved my Z-PAC!
All the Mauk girls have been sick. I started it with a sore throat weekend before last, but thought it was better by last Monday. Then Grace’s throat started hurting her, then Lauren had a fever and was throwing up. Then Emily got pinkeye and a double ear infection. Then my throat started feeling worse again. The doctor said we all a have strep throat and put all of us on Amoxicillin, plus drops for Em’s eyes. Now, here’s the background on my Grace. She has always been the DRAMA QUEEN when it comes to taking meds. She cries, objects, pleads, bargains, wails, thrashes, whatever she can think to do, but of course it never works… We make her take the meds. Period. Well, after 2 dramatic doses of her Amox, she felt better and thought she was done. I tried to explain that she has to take all the antibiotic even though she felt fine. More drama. She is still taking her med, but she grumbles and complains the whole time. Grace is willing to accept the healing that comes with 2 doses of her med, but then wants to coast through the rest of her healing on her own power. She doesn’t want to have to deal with the nasty taste of the med even though it is designed to heal her. Amoxicillin. Yucky pink stuff. She’s nothing like her Mommie! Ha!
Sunday before last, I was looking forward to church, until it was time to go. Something just felt wrong. I was annoyed with everything in general, and nothing in particular. Lauren was gone; she had spent the night with Alaina. We had Grace’s sweet friend Annemarie with us. The lights in the sanctuary just seemed different than normal, and the service itself was going to be different. Every January, the church does it’s blessing service during which each family or individual has the opportunity to have God’s Word spoken as Blessing over them by prayer ministers. So during the service, each family would be excused to go have Communion then go to the prayer room or the Chapel to receive their Blessing. I am a flexible person, and I can deal with change. Usually. But for whatever reason, on this particular Sunday, I was annoyed that someone had moved my cheese. This was not how I wanted to worship . I wanted to do things the way we always did them. Is this going to take longer than normal? What will be expected of me? When will my throat stop hurting? Why can’t we just do what we’ve always done? Sure, blessing is always a good thing, and I knew that my family could surely use the blessing and healing that comes along with it. But I was plenty satisfied with all the healing we had already done. I didn’t want to be responsible for whatever He might expect from me. I sat there annoyed that God wanted more for me than I wanted for myself. And in my annoyance, NOTHING He had for me was going to taste good to me. Even though it was designed to heal me. Amoxicillin. Yucky pink stuff!
Why do I forget what His Word has for me? Psalm 34:8 “Oh TASTE and see that Jehovah is good.”. And 1 Peter 2:3 ” Ye have TASTED that the Lord is gracious.”. And Hebrews 6:4-6 “For as touching those who were once enlightened and TASTED of the heavenly gift, and were made partakers of the Holy Spirit, and TASTED the good word of God.” Psalm 119:103 “How sweet are thy words unto my TASTE! Yea, sweeter than honey to my mouth!”
But that’s my depravity. I was willing to completely forgo the blessing from God because I would rather be annoyed by the idea of needing more God instead of needing less me. It’s about as honest as I can get but I am embarrassed to admit it. Hopefully, none of you are paying attention because there is a huge chunk of me that would prefer my Sistas to believe a self-righteous lie about me than to believe a self-depreciating truth about me.
I thought about that all week and finally resolved that God’s blessings are steadfast and true whether I receive them gratefully or if I roll my eyes begrudgingly (because that’s how you have to love a 12 year old daughter sometimes). Then Sunday, 2 days ago, I was getting ready for church, thanking God for always being true, despite my failings. I remember thinking that God’s Word always accomplishes His perfect task even when I get in the way. His Word never returns void. Then off to church with Lauren and Grace. Emily stayed home with Paul. As I was walking through the parking lot, I thought “well God, I’m here at church again. You didn’t impress me much last week. Here’s your chance to redeem yourself today!”. Oh yes, I went there! Then I immediately stepped aside so the lightning bolt God was going to strike me with would maybe miss my daughters. Here again, major embarrassment just to admit how wretched my thoughts are. But that’s just honest. God has allowed me to continue living beyond last Sunday, so I assume He is giving me time to experience my own redemption because He surely doesn’t need redeemed. He amazed me greatly during Sunday’s service. The message was (partly) about Isaiah 55:11 “so shall my word be that goeth forth out of my mouth: it shall not return unto me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in the thing whereto I sent it.”
So I am thinking that God’s perfect word is like Amoxicillin. It kills what ails ya, but you have to keep taking it EVEN AFTER YOU FEEL BETTER! Because you can never use up all God has for you. His treasures are exceedingly above all we can imagine or need. He fed the 5000 with 5loaves of bread and 2 fish and still had leftovers “And they all ate, and were filled: and they took up that which remained over of the broken pieces, twelve baskets full.”