from so long ago June 8, 2009
So this morning was crazy. Most mornings that I work are crazy. I’m
up early to get myself and the three girls ready with breakfast, getting
dressed, straightening rooms, brushing teeth, and doing dishes. Without Paul living
here anymore, I have to get the girls to the babysitter and me to work by 7:40.
Today was trash day and of course I forgot to take it out last week so the can was extra heavy.
The lid is broken, so all the rain we’ve had the last week has filled up the
trash can making it heavier to roll. The ground was soaked, so it was
nearly impossible to push the can, and it was pouring down rain as I pushed
it all the way down our long driveway. I got the girls ready, in the car,
start the engine…battery dead! This sounds like Alexander and the
Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day! I called Paul and he rushed over
from Ardmore to deal with the car and the girls so I could get to work.
As I was rushing through the rain, gotta get gas, I started thinking
that the delay was a stinky way to start the day. Why was this hassle
happening to me today? I wondered if the hassle was really a gift and not a
curse. What was God protecting me from? Would I have gotten into a wreck
on Reynolda Road if I had left on time? Was He saving me from hitting a
deer on Yadkinville Road like I’ve seen two other cars do? Would I have hit
every single red light between home, the babysitters, and work and lost my
religion by cursing and fussing? Did God know I needed a major annoyance
today for some reason only He was privy to? That got me thinking about all
the other ways God has rescued me without me even knowing it. Could my
heartaches be blessings in disguise? Could God have orchestrated my days,
disappointments, dilemmas, diversions, delays, detours, and distractions as
ways to bring me closer to Him? My mind started to wander thinking about
all the rescues God performed in the Bible and how I have been drawn to the
stories over and over again … clinging to them as promises made to me
thousands of years before I was even born. As my stream of consciousness
continued, it brought me to understand that all those stories in the Bible
WERE written as promises to me. But I had rarely internalized them and made
them real-life stories. Oh, I would rest on the assurance that “all things
you ask in prayer, believing, you will receive,” Matt 21:22. And that “in
the same way the Spirit also helps our weakness; for we do not know how to
pray as we should, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings
too deep for words,” Romans 8:26. I believe all the promises, and I know
that the stories are true, and I have applied the promises and stories to my
own life, but have I ever made them real? Is the Bible written for me …
or is the Bible written about me? Am I a character in the Bible? Am I an
The short answer is “Yes,” but probably an explanation would help.
What do I believe? I believe that at some point in my life, I have been
already or I will be:
Eve … shaking the gate of Eden desperately crying “Please, Lord, I’m so
sorry. Please let me back in!” Genesis 3.
Noah … building a means to a future even though everyone else thinks I am
crazy. Genesis 6:10-22.
Moses … trying to convince God not to use me for a mighty mission.
“Really God, pick someone else to speak. What do I know about words,”
Aaron … becoming the mouthpiece for Moses, Exodus 4:14-16.
grumbling Israelites … complaining about the manna provision of God. “Why
did You lead me here away from the delicacies of my past life?’ Numbers 11.
Joshua … marching around my own private Jericho, not because I think my
feet are strong enough to knock the walls down, but because I know my God is
strong enough. Joshua 6:1-20.
Hannah … singing praises to God because I prayed for this beautiful person
to be mine, and God made it so. 1 Samuel 1:26-2:11.
Goliath … hiding behind my armor brazenly thinking that not even the Word
of God could penetrate me, 1 Samuel 17:4-51.
David … sacrificing someone so faithful to me just so I can have what I
want, 2 Samuel 11:15-17.
Job … overcome with despair as I watch my blessings ripped away from me,
the Palmist … vacillating between wondering where God is hiding, and yet
knowing God deserves all my praises as I search for Him, Psalm 13.
the woman of Folly … diverting the righteous into the same dark alleys I
have called home for too long, Proverbs 9:13-18.
the Proverbs 31 woman … Okay maybe in my dreams!
the Shulamite Bride … my license plate says “MBIM&IAH;” but my heart is
liar, Song of Solomon 2:16.
Ezekiel … I see the dry bones quicken with a renewed life only God can
deliver, Ezekiel 37:1-10.
Malachi … reporting the words of the Lord “I Hate Divorce!” Malachi 2:16.
Pharisees … trying to trick the Lord into stumbling over His own Words
because I forgot that He is the Word, Matthew 12.
a fish … pulled from a boy’s basket, “I will be lunch for one.” “No,”
God says, “You will feed thousands!” Matthew 14:13-21.
the father of the demon possessed boy … “I do believe; help my unbelief,”
Martha … Mary’s sister, aka Martha Stewart, busy fluffing my stupid purple
sofa cushions again!!! Luke 11:38-42.
a donkey … completely unaware Who is sitting on my back as we trot into
Jerusalem. Yes, I am an ass (Laura, be quiet!) Luke 19:28-48.
Judas … using my religion for my own personal gain, Luke 22:47-53.
Mary Magdalene … blinded by my tears, unable to see the Lord standing
before me, resurrected, alive! John 20.
Saul … Oh thank you for knocking me off my high horse! Acts 9.
Paul … sending rambling letters, Romans, 1 and 2 Corinthians, Galatians,
Ephesians, Philippians, Colossians, 1 and 2 Thessalonians, 1 and 2 Timothy,
So that is what I believe. The Bible is about me. And it is about
you. We become messengers of the Word every time we speak, and every time
we don’t. We spread the Message when we share, and when we don’t. We are
disciples when we go outside our box and when we stay in our Holy Huddle.
We are the Body of Christ when we die to ourselves and when we cling to our
pathetic lives. We are the Church when we gather together in His name and
when we forsake fellowship. We are the Good News when we feel like it and
when we don’t. It isn’t up to us to fulfill the gospel. Thank goodness God
doesn’t entrust that to us. He just wants us to live it.