October 3, 2011

My Sistas,
Let me whisper in your ear…”Hey hey Aunt Sandie! Guess what? I’m a secret agent!” Oh Grayden! And “Mommie, Mommie! Guess what I did! I hid wormies in my room!” Oh Emily! . They are sooo yummy! Not the wormies. Those little whisperings in my ear. They always make me smile.
Grayden might be a secret agent, but sometimes I think Em is a double agent. Hard to tell which side she is playing for. When I yell out “WHAT TIME IS IT?” My Lauren gives a hollaback “IT”S WHOMPIN’ TIME!” And she backs up to the edge of the living room, winds herself up like a mechanical toy, starts running, and unleashes her Flying Whomp on her Daddy! But Em will cry out “NO THAT’S MY DADDY! Don’t hurt my Daddy!” So you think she is on Team Daddy. She will throw her little body across Paul’s to block Lauren’s whomp. But sometimes it seems like she is playing both sides because her smothering of smooches on her Daddy actually will distract Paul from the sneak attack Lauren is about to launch. Oh Emily, my double agent.
Grace is now a cheerleader for the Lewisville Titan Junior Midgets. The losing Lewisville Junior Midgets. Only one touchdown all season. Poor Grace lamented after one game that she didn’t understand why they had lost so badly since the players had felt so confident that they were going to score. I thought to myself “Grace…life lesson..boys always think they are going to score!” I thought it, didn’t say it! One of their cheers goes something like “When we say Lewisville, you say Titans! Lewisville!’ So the crowd does the hollaback “TITANS!” And the girls cheer their hearts out during every play. And those girls are awesome! Even when the game is is obviously lost before half-time, even though some of them don’t understand the game, even when they are tired, even when their cheer coach collapses on the sidelines and has to be taken away in an ambulance, those girls give their all. And they (the cheerleaders, not the football players) are going to place well enough at Local competition to qualify for Regionals, and well enough at Regionals to qualify for Nationals. After one game, I heard another parent ask who had won the game. Even though they weren’t talking to me, I gave a hollaback “the cheerleaders won!” I am on Team Grace!
So for awhile now, I have been in a little bit of a funk. Feeling worried about some issues in the life of Lauren, feeling weighted down with personal stuff of mine, dreading some things I have needed to do, feeling gloomy without my joy, and I have even been told that I am bitchy. I have been considering the validity of that word, but I can’t decide if I am ready to own that one, or if “bitchy” really came from the other person’s issues. Either way…whatever! I sat in church Sunday really needing to hear a hollaback from God. I feel like I have been whomped, playing on a losing team, waiting on a sneak attack, and sometimes not knowing for sure who is on my side. We were singing at the beginning of service, I can’t even remember what song it was, I looked up at the ceiling and just whispered in God’s ear “It is well with my soul.” I think I just needed Him to know that just like rainy days and Mondays, this too shall pass and I would get through this funk. Well, I got my hollaback whispered in my ear. As the offering was being passed, Ashley stood up and sang a capella “It is Well With My Soul.” I love it when God does that. And that song is so perfect as a response to God because He tells you what to say. He gives the words and all you have to do is say them back to Him.
And I have to say that I still feel funky, but that might be because I haven’t washed my hair today. I still worry about Lauren. I know I weigh myself down. I know my joy was stolen last week, and I know what stole it. I think I might be a bitch sometimes, and I think I am okay with that. And I think the person who said I was bitchy really does have personal issues! But I know that God was whispering in my ear telling me He is on Team Sandie, and He has more Team Sandie team-spirit than I do.
Elijah heard the hollaback after he was feeling whomped. He heard the still small voice of God. “And behold, the LORD passed by, and a great and strong wind tore into the mountains and broke the rocks in pieces before the LORD, but the LORD was not in the wind; and after the wind an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake; 12 and after the earthquake a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire; and after the fire a still small voice.” Kings19:11-12.
Treasure Seeker,
Sandie